The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

well within one night of my ex saying yes to going out with her friend she is already sleeping with him, im so fucked up right now its unbelievable, i know i brought that on myself cause i asked but she still loves me she told me herself so i dont see how she can get in a relationship let alone sleep with him too.



im going to be so fucked up for ages now, im not going to talk to her though so that will help, i wanna hate her so bad right now but i still love her and i want her back, i should never have ended it but as the saying goes "you dont know what u got till its gone"



and boy is that saying true, hold on to the one u love and dont ever let her go cause u will regret it, trust me i know cause its the biggest regret of my life.

ive had it with this site, its always going so fucking slow and ive just really had it, never loading pages and always fucking giving me error messages, what the fuck is going on with this site, is it cause there is to much usage or something like that.



this is the only place i call home and since everything else has been taken away from me the last thing i wanna do is lose touch with all my friends too cause at the moment they are the only things holding me together and that might be really sad but its true cause im a sad person who has nothing except my friends on here, i hate being this fucked up nothing good comes my way and when it does rarely i end up either giving up on it or losing it and im sick of it, im at the end of my rope here and i need help.

my heart has been torn out right now, god it hurts so much like its being stabbed over and over again.



please dont ask cause i dont wanna explain.

well today in work i got the whole talk on what the true goth shud look like



1 - must have black hair ( no other colour )



2 - must wear all black



3 - must wear eyeliner



4 - must have a lip piercing



now if that aint steriotyping i dont know what is, all from what they have seen on tv and stuff, i nearly told them to just fuck off.

this will make u all laugh



i was off work for bout 4 days cause of my leg getting cut by my knife and i dunno if any of u think the same or not but the rumour going round work was that i tried committing suicide lol, what the hell i mean yeah sure i want to and all but how is cutting my leg going to achive this, maybe slowly it wud but the last thing i want is a slow death.



bloody women in factories will start anything wont they, even had some people come up and ask me if i did it on purpose or not god i felt like slapping them i really did, but i wudnt do that.

i dunno why right now but i have a burning desire to just take all the sleeping pills and liquid that i have here and just end it all, thinking bout it now its like a roaring flame inside me that wants me to just put it out forever, i really feel low i dunno whats going on with me but i know this feeling never has gone away no matter how hard i try it still remains there and im so tired of fighting it.

went out for a walk just now, need to stretch my legs after being stuck in for almost a week, took my camera with me to since it was sunny out (though i hate the sun) thought i might aswell see if there was anything worth taking a picture but turned out i was in a photogenic mood.



went round and down the docks near where i live and it was all construction work, building flats or business buildings i dunno, so there was nothing to take a picture of, i was mainly just thinking just of where my life is going and such but my mind came up empty it was a complete blank, i still feel lost and with no clue where im going, but nevermind im sure ill figure it out.